Hold the Sparks
Away from you. That’s right–got to keep some distance, keep it cool. Those little snaps can burn, and that’s not what sparklers are made for.
I’ve had to remind myself so many times. Kids will be kids. Kids will say kid-kinds-of things. Sometimes what they say is a sizzling surprise. Sparks fly. Your mama heart rears up like the proverbial bear. You wanna know what happened? A six year old. A very adorable six year old who loved to be around people, meet people, and probably knows no stranger to this day. He promptly made his way towards us and…can you guess?
He poked out his finger, pointed to my son and said, “Why is he black?”
(Zing , Snap, Sizzle, wanna make sumthin’ of it?!)( I didn’t say that.)
Do you ever finish a conversation and wish you’d said something else? Something more? Something true, just, merciful, and loving? I was too worried about my boys’ feelings.
My response should have been better than this, “Well, why are you white?” (Argh. Why’d I say it?)
I know, the poor kid was only six years old. He gave us a confused glance and walked away. The bad part is, he probably really wanted to know. Six year-olds are super-curious. “Why” gets inserted into just about every other word that comes out of their mouths. I could have been scientific with the dude and given him a lecture on pigments, melanin, and DNA ancestry.
Very often, parents of these cherubs are faulted for not instructing their kids in the ways of adoption and diversity. Actually, many of them DO. The six year old will still ask– even after a billion and one explanations. But here’s where it gets hands-on and might stick. I should have said:
“Because God created him that way, just like God made you the way you are. You’re a great-lookin’ kid. Hey, what’s your name? This is… Do you play soccer?”
This answer takes it back to the Creator, and while he might still be confused about how all the different colors out there came to be, we can give them a start: right at the beginning with a God who creates. And the God who is LOVE. And a word that is true: God made YOU. God made you on purpose.
Kindness will offset any out-of-the-blue, what-a-crazy, good-grief moments like these. Most of the time. Remember, we’re talking little ones here.
My boy might have gained a friend if I hadn’t been snappy. As for my son’s feelings? Yep, he’s cool. Because I gave him the above answer. Made on purpose and loved.
Colossians 1:16 “…all things have been created by HIM and for HIM.” (including curious little boys…)
PS
There have been more awkward and frustrating things said along the way, and we should have a chat about it sometime. People can say such hurtful, thoughtless things. How to handle these incidents as a believer is taking some study and prayer. How to turn a moment inside out to work towards a loving advantage? By the grace of God, we shall.